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Movie: ‘JaganMohini’ is a cult classic!!!

October 18, 2009

Caution: The review is offensive. Period!…contains spoilers… [NSFW]

“Jaganmohini” starring Raja, Namitha and Mira Chopra is an embarrassing film to begin with. To even call it embarrassing is a huge compliment in itself. I haven’t found a term yet in Oxford dictionary to describe the film. There are films which are mundane, there are films which are pointless, but “Jaganmohini” is neither of them. It’s a disgrace to the film fraternity that films like this are even made in the first place. Since most of you haven’t even heard of the movie and chances of you watching the film are almost zilch, allow me you to elaborate more than what you general expect from a movie review.

In the kingdom of Matsya Deevi (Fish Island), an announcement is made that  Prince Jagan Prathap(Raja) and another princessjaganmohini Jayanthi (Mira Chopra) will enter a wedlock. However this marriage is stopped when a water demon, Mohini (Namitha) wrecks havoc in the kingdom at the same time. She’s stopped by a tantrik (Kota Srinivas Rao) who has a plan of his own. The rest of the plot unravels the mystery of Mohini and why she wanted to stop the marriage…

Five minutes into the movie, you begin to wonder if the director Vishwanathan is playing a practical joke on you. The film which is supposed to be set in medieval times (although shot in Ramoji Film City) has Tar Roads, Electric lamps. Moments later, a water demon walks into the kingdom…it’s so HUGE that you wouldn’t think twice before concluding that it has to be the Jumbo Queen, Namitha! And few minutes later, the tantrik after capturing the demon in his Kamandalam, slices his head like a lemon as an offering to please Goddess Kali. (Wait..there’s more!). Suddenly out of nowhere, hundreds of eyes pop out from the huge lemon garland on the goddess! She’s pleased with the subject’s devotion and hints him to go to the Shankam island (Conch Island) where he will find the boon he has been asking for. But little does he know that he cannot find it so easily….Spalsh…Kaboom…ahh…yes, Mohini (Namitha) has just jumped into a swimming pool (Oops…Sea!) to collect pearls. She finds a special one and shows that to her mother (Jyothilaxmi) and the mom-daughter duo start dancing in ultra-minis clothes…yikes! Well…this was just the beginning of what turns out to be a nightmare.

The hero turns up on Mohini’s island out of nowhere and the two almost instantly fall in love. Raja should be declared the strongest man on earth. He survives the bone crushing body frame of Namitha on more than one occasion. At one point of time, he had to even suffer an extra ton of iron, as if the already 3 tons of the jumbo rani wasn’t enough! (Pun intended!).  Before they can do some chiggy-wiggy (of course, they sing songs), the prince’s mission is accomplished and he must leave the island. His parents are devastated when they hear about his affair with a fisherman’s daughter and yes, the King issues orders to kill the girl. And she dies in the sea after the king’s stooge stabs her. Woah..that’s one hell of a sharp knife! Since she didn’t get laid and her love for the boy is unfulfilled, she returns as a ghost both to avenge her death and regain her love.

The embarrassment just doesn’t end for a moment. After a point of time it turns out that you have been laughing your arse off at the seriousness with which the film takes itself. In one particular scene,  Mohini invites her friends to accompany her long-last brother. You begin to wonder if the director was shooting for a condom ad!!! Everyone walks in with long hair, white masks, white pullovers, white gloves! It’s acceptable if someone says that it’s a low budget film, but the representation of “Ghosts” in this fashion is a mere insult to them. However, it couldn’t have been a low budget film, the reason being Namitha looks like she has cut down some of her flab. Possibly a huge chunk of the budget was utilised for her fitness program. It’s still embarrassing to look at her in those minis…unless of course you have altered your sexual preferences..:). She’s still an eye sore, occupies more than half of the screen space and has an expression which is somewhere between a constipated  one and a horny MILF. Heyyy…don’t blame me for the crude language…she almost succeeds in man-raping the hero in the film.

If all this wasn’t enough, the film has arguably some of the worst visual effects and graphics you have seen in recent times. I bet, Alif Laila had much better graphics and a great storyline with ample thrills to scare you. Mohini gets so horny at one point of time that she stoops to a new low, she almost manages to have Ghost-Segz with her lover boy. Oh…you poor thing! You can thank your stars that the cute Jayanthi saved the day for you. And how can I forget the climax! Now, the prince is in love with both of them…and being the genius our writers and directors are, they come up with a smart tactic. Mohini’s soul replaces that of Jayanthi’s!!!! Hey…dude…that’s so cool!!…Now, it’s double the fun…only problem being, there’s a danger of Jayanthi turning into a la Mohini inside. After all, you never know, in a movie like this I wouldn’t be too surprised if the two switch places or have a threesome by some miracle..:D

Acting, although non-existant for most part, is terrible. You would have seen better acting by those kutti kids in fancy dress competitions held at schools! Everyone makes an effort to appear so serious all the time, but it falls flat like a big lump of cow-crap on the roads! Raja really acts as if he’s out there to save the world. Namitha croons, dances and does all sorts of nonsense to bring her career back on track. She’s so much suited for the prano business…wouldn’t you agree? she could make a bomb in that field…:P..The only two people I really pity for being part of this film are Mira Chopra and Illayaraja! They have done the film makers a huge favour by signing on the dotted line and hopefully this will be the kind of film which they wouldn’t talk about. Ever! If the film makers are under the impression that the film has some great graphics, then I must suggest that they should recover all the money they have paid for that Visual Effects company. Clearly, you have been cheated and tricked into believing that it’s a masterpiece, or maybe you have just woken up after a 30 year coma!

But why would I call this a cult classic? Because, there will never be a film like this in near future! The dialogues, story, acting, editing, screenplay, direction are some of the worst in years. But then, this is exactly the kind of film you should watch with a huge gang. The trick is to know when to laugh and when to curse your fate for landing on that seat! This is film making at a new low, a disgrace to the existence of cinema and a nightmare in all its glory. The producer could have donated the money for a good cause instead of investing in this film. All I can say is, a sleeping pill with every ticket will be an excellent strategy to save the film.

Rating: Not Applicable [NA]

P.S: I have nothing against the film unit or the actors in the film, especially Namitha. All I am saying is, she’s in the wrong field and I am so damn pissed that this film was made in the first place.

P.P.S: The film has the potential to win hundreds of awards in all the major “Worst…” categories!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Anvesh permalink
    October 18, 2009 3:52 am

    OhMyBloodyFuckingGod !

    The MILF one was nice though

  2. Anvesh permalink
    October 18, 2009 3:53 am

    I should watch it with all my friends

  3. October 18, 2009 12:08 pm

    nice movie :beer:

  4. Akram permalink
    October 18, 2009 6:37 pm

    I must say that this man since he is emphazing that he has no personal grudge against Namitha This itself shows how much he hates her and how much he wants this film to go flop. Either this guy has been paid well to critisize this film or he needs help. All he has written in this review is ill about Namitha. And then he has a nerve to say he has nothing against her.
    I pity this man and i can imagine what hell he must be going through when he sees the theatre packed 🙂 Soon you all will hear this educated man with good command of english “BUT” a victim of Jealousy and Grudge !!

    God help this writer..

    • Hemanth permalink*
      October 18, 2009 6:54 pm

      Dear Akram,
      Thanks for your patience for posting a long reply. And thanks again for an attempt to read my mind. I must confess that, I am not a fan or even an admirer of Namitha. However, I do respect every diehard of the actress. As far as the question of this film being a hit or a flop goes, I wouldn’t be too surprised if, there’s a “success meet” and a “Triple platinum disc” organised in the coming few days. I cannot understand what and why the audience like something…that’s a study I have to undertake now! I seriously need help in understanding how and why films like this are made?!!!….And why should the audience be made to undergo a comic torture like this!…:D…

      Cheers,
      Hemanth

  5. Aditya permalink
    October 22, 2009 12:54 pm

    Hey,

    Enjoyed the review. Don’t think I will have the audacity to watch this movie now. I have seen a promo of the film and thought it was some B-grade movie. Didn’t know Raja was a part of this film (His days are so bad?). You are right “Success Meets” and “Triple Platinum Functions” are part of production of a telugu film these days.

    What is your next movie review?

    BTW your movie quizzes are quite tough. Almost all of them went over my head. Try some easy ones for people like us. 😀

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  1. 2009: Best and Worst of Telugu Cinema « Waking Life in 24 Frames

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