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The Others-3

April 5, 2007

“Dei …here he comes.”

“Where were you dude? We have been waiting for you.”

“Well, I was just coming from home da…had some work at home.” I knew I had lied. I didn’t know why, “Anyway, where’s Raja; he said he would join us without fail.”

“Ah…here he comes. Finally you made it.” My friend referred to Raja who had just joined us.

In the course of discussion, I kept on looking for questions. Questions of all kind…why were we having that discussion after all; why was it so important than so many other topics? What’s gonna be the outcome of that conversation?….

Isn’t that strange? Why should someone look for questions? I think answer is just a matter of time if you have the right question. And based on your question, your answer changes every time you ask a different one. There are so many different interpretations of the same thing. Which one would you say is the right?

Maybe everything is right…but some things are more right than others….

“What happened dude? What are thinking so deeply?”

Raja broke my string of thoughts. And everyone was looking at me, expecting a reply. But I didn’t say anything; there’s always this mask…this smile which would assure that everything is alright. It’s a good technique…you should try it out too…they say you don’t lose anything if you smile!

I was looking at Raja now…was looking at his brilliance in talking to others…it’s like he was born with this charm that I always craved for….

“What makes you think, you are better than me?”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You know…everything. Just about everything…”

“Who said, I am better than you?”

“Everyone seems to believe that.”

“You sure that’s what everyone thinks? Or is it what you think?”

“I donno what to think…”

“So, you let others think on your behalf. Is that what you would have wanted? I am your friend dude. Ever since I have known you, I have never seen you with this state of mind? What’s wrong man?”

“What do you even care? It doesn’t matter what I think.”

“It matters to me…it matters because I am apprehensive that some of your conclusions might not be what they are in reality.”

“What is reality then?”

“I donno…what’s reality. But I can see that something is eating you up from inside. Something which you can’t let go in my presence. What is it? What is it?”

“I am just jealous…I am just jealous.”

I started speaking after a long void of silence. That broke the anomaly. Suddenly the ghost had woken up…it was no more a ghost now.

But the time in which I spoke those words was so wrong that my friends started questioning me if I was day-dreaming about something.

“I meant I am jealous that you hang out with so many girls…I wish I could do the same.”

“Aha…the cupid is sharpening his arrows…hehehe….sure man, I will introduce you to few gals, someday soon. I wanna see what you do.” He gave one of his evil laughs after that. And the rest joined him….

I wore my mask again…I smiled too.

I went home after our meeting and silently ate my food and went to sleep. But I couldn’t sleep. I walked towards the window to have a look around the city with its zillion lights. The wind brought with it some new fragrance of the moon lit night. And I turned towards my bed.

“Oh…shit!!!…Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my room?” I had almost fallen back when I saw someone in room.

“Fear not my son. I can’t harm you. I came here because you wanted to see me.”

“I wanted to see you??…I don’t even know you; why would I want to even see you?”

“Are you sure, you haven’t seen me? You saw me in the movie the other day, I was Naidu. You saw me on the street the other day, whom you wanted to follow, but later gave up looking at the thousand other similar looking faces.”

“Ah…yes, now I remember. So, which one of them was really you?”

“Both or neither…whichever you believe is true.

“Ah…but why did you come now? I never called you or wanted to see you…”

“Hehehe…don’t be silly. You know that you have been thinking about me all the time. You think about me when you are alone…you think about me when you are with your friends.”

“What rubbish? I just saw you on screen for couple of hours…that’s it!”

“Are you sure about that? Maybe I am everything that you have been dreaming about. I am your thought itself…I am you.”

“You are me?? Then who am I??”

“Isn’t that obvious…you are me. Just that the difference is that, you are a ghost even though you are real…and I am a ghost in reel.”

“But that’s not true…I am in a way quite different than what you are.”

“What difference does it make? After all I am the apparition of your thoughts. The mask that I am wearing doesn’t make me different, no matter what we do; we are all the same.”

“I don’t believe you…”

“You can’t escape the truth…and the truth is…”

“Whatever it is, I don’t wanna know…”

“Hehehe…then don’t. But I will tell you what others say about it…the truth is everything that you are running away from. Truth is everything that you don’t wanna know. They say Truth is light; it will overwhelm you because you will no longer have to wear the same mask over and over again.”

“Stop it…stop it…”

“The question is what are you running away from? What is that you don’t wanna know?”

“No…I don’t wanna think or know what you are asking me. But do you know the answer to all that?”

“Neither do I…Didn’t you realize that I was you?”

“Wait…wait…where are you going? You can’t leave me…wait…wait.”

I could see myself confused…confused with the burden of unanswered questions. Anyway, I didn’t want to know any of those. I was happy till then…atleast that’s what I thought. I don’t wanna know the truth which would supposedly enlighten me. Whatever it is…I don’t care. I don’t want to break the anomaly to walk down the path of reality.

The next day I woke up…I didn’t have a dream. And I met my friends and Raja like I did everyday. I was still jealous.

And like everyday…I kept looking for questions. But one day, I chose the other way round. I got an answer….I got an answer that

“All Men are born equal, but some are more equal than others.”

I don’t know if that was my destiny…I don’t know if that was reality. All I knew was to try to keep searching…searching for things unknown, searching for things that were always in dreams….searching for things that you always wished for. And every time I came across some new thing, I wanted to know if this was the end. But I didn’t have an answer…so, I kept searching.

I want to be equal…that equal that I have always dreamt of. I don’t want to be the ghost around. It makes me quiver because one day when I am not the ghost anymore…I look back and I see my tracks missing.

I know this….I can feel it too…

I am almost there, but maybe I wasn’t destined to be “The One”…I just remained one among “The others”. But I don’t stop…I keep walking.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Akshaya permalink
    April 10, 2007 10:15 am

    Hey nice work da!keep writing more. sorry should have mailed you earlier itself 🙂

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