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February 3, 2006

“No!!” I opened my eyes and found myself in the hospital. “What happened?” “Nothing… Just a bad dream…”
“Doctor, what happened?” his silence said more than his words could. And there she was. My beautiful wife lay peacefully on the stretcher. “Mr. Ajay, we did what we could. But it was not enough. We couldn’t help it. And your daughter, well she’s in a bad shape too. She’s taking rest now. You can talk to her after she wakes up.” The doctor placed his hand on my shoulder and said,” I am sorry. She doesn’t have much time. Maybe few hours.” And he walked away leaving me in a bewildered state. I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t cry. I told myself not to cry because all my life I was taught that boys don’t cry! But it really is a natural thing to cry when you lose something that you love so much.
I prayed all night and hoping that the angels of death could give her a little more time than what’s destined for her. She didn’t deserve all this. For God’s sake, she was only eight years old! But ….the damn time never stops.
“Sir, sir. Are you Ajay? Your daughter….”she could barely finish what she wanted to say and I ran to the ward where my little daughter was sleeping last night hoping that my prayers would be answered. It was quite a relief to see her lying on that bed. Breathing. …

“Dad, where am I? And what is this place? We were supposed to be in the park.” She talked as if she didn’t know what had happened. “What are all these pipes going through my hands? And why are you crying?” She always had so many questions to ask. I sat beside her and looked into her eyes. I could see the innocence in her eyes, wondering why I was crying so much and filled with questions. “Dad, where’s mom?” I didn’t know what to tell her. And I lied. “She’s waiting for you, outside this room. She couldn’t bear the sight of you lying on the bed like this. Though I forced her to come here, she didn’t listen to any of my words. She’s….gone.” Amogha couldn’t understand what I was trying to tell her. She asked,” Gone…but where?”. “She was in a hurry. Somebody was waiting for her and she couldn’t wait until you wake up. She’s….gone…she’s gone.” I couldn’t control my emotion and burst into tears. I knew that what I had lost and what I would be losing would leave only one thing for me. Loneliness…..
“She’s gone!! Tell mom that I am very angry with her. And I will not talk to her.” I think my angel was afraid and wanted her mother to be beside her. I was running out of time and suddenly was lost in thought…..
Once she got herself drenched in rain and her mom was all hot upon her. They didn’t talk to each other for quite sometime. Then my angel came to me and said,” dad, do you know why it rains?” and I said,” No, I don’t”. “It’s because the Rain God cries when his mother doesn’t talk to him.” And she smiled. Her smile was so infectious that we all started smiling too. Another time she was eating an ice-cream and by the time she finished it, the cream was all over her face. She didn’t know what to do and came and hugged me and I had a huge patch of chocolate ice-cream’s stain on my shirt. Hehehe…she really was quite gem of a person.“Dad….dad, where were you?? I have been shouting for so long” I was interrupted from my thoughts by her sweet voice. “Dad, I was wondering what will happen to our goldfish? Won’t it feel unhappy that I am not playing with it?” “Yes, my child. It will perhaps be very lonely now… me” I mumbled the last two words. “But I promise you that I will take full care of it.” “You are the best, dad. Ok, I am feeling very sleepy. But when I wake up I want to see my little cute friend, “goldie” here.” “Who’s goldie?” I

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